I think my vagina is haunted
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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