so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
