Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize