It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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