Do you still have your period?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
