Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
