If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
