What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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