I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
