that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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