On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
