Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
