I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
