I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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