im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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