I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
