No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
