You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
