and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
