We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
