I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
