normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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