Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
