My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You have to summon your inner elephant
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
