have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have already put on my inside pants.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
