You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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