Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you never un-have a 4some
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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