perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was like eating out sand paper
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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