community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
