Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
