I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
