Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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