we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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