Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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