it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
