She announced her abortion via fbk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
