Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
