we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He better not be in your backpack
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm both gender and math confused
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
