i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
