Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
