Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
