That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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