YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
