let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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