man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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