i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
