i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
