Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
