my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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