Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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