Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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