are you still at the devil's house?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
