Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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