Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
