I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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