The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
