i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
