Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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