i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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