I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
