hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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